I Quit Deodorant (Sort of)

Soooo this is going to be fun.  I can see some of your faces already…  You are totally scared for what you are about to read.  Well, I was surfing on the internet for some funny articles a few weeks ago and came across this one on Huffington Post that was about applying deodorant and antiperspirant.  It was pretty interesting and it got my wheels turning…  For the remainder of this post I will use the word “deodorant” in place of “antiperspirant.”  Not because that’s what I wear, but, because nobody says the word “antiperspirant” in real life.

Go figure, after all these years I thought I was an adult who applied deodorant the correct way.  Come to find out that I was completely wrong.  My life came to a sudden crash.  Apparently, we are supposed to put it on at night, when we are least sweaty rather than the morning.  For me, that would mean I would have to shower at night instead of the morning.  Since that sounds difficult, I thought, “What the hell, why not just stop wearing deodorant all together?  What’s the worst that can happen?”  Besides, I’m pretty sure that stuff has chemicals in it that can’t be good for the human body.

So just like that, no more deodorant for me.  No more staining my black shirts, no more sweating the minute that I apply deodorant, and no more smelling like “Pure Sport” from Old Spice.  The first day without it was like pure freedom.  When I came out of the shower and decided to skip my daily routine, I shouted, “Society can’t tell me what to do and what to smell like!”  Freedom.

Three days later was a different story.  I decided that the ultimate test would be how my body handled a run so I went off on a four mile jog.  Although I wasn’t sweating nearly as much as I do when wearing deodorant, I noticed I wasn’t smelling as “fresh” either.  I guess the residual deodorant had finally worn off.  When I returned, I immediately showered so I can be back to my usual self.

After the completion of my first week going “all natural,” my showers had pretty much doubled.  Twice a day was necessary or I smelled like that sweaty guy on the train that nobody will sit next to.  It was odd because I wasn’t sweating!  My runs were enjoyable and I didn’t ruin my base layer gear with pit stains.  I felt cleaner, surprisingly.

I think moving into week two is when I started to hit my breaking point.  I would come out of a shower and smell an hour later!  Without doing anything!  At home I could care less.  I live with my fiancé and my dog.  And let’s be honest, the dog doesn’t smell like roses.  As far as my fiancé goes, well, she has a ring on her finger that says, “You have to put up with my stupid nonsense.”  The most embarrassing part was in public and at work.  When I would be helping a customer I was wondering if they were thinking, “Wow, this kid really smells.”  Nobody is going to buy awesome running gear from a smelly person!

I ended my streak of no deodorant after thirteen days.  I honestly thought it was something that I could do going forward until the second week started.  I figured my body would eventually just learn how to survive without stinking – but it never happened.  The final straw came when I needed to meet somebody for an interview.  I had a difficult decision to make and smelling good seemed like a better idea than losing a job opportunity because of body odor.  In retrospect, however, that guy was an asshole and I should have stunk his office up something terrible…

Maybe I will try this little experiment again sometime – preferably before the summer comes so I don’t sweat to death.  In the meantime, if you happen to see me in person anytime soon there is a good chance I will be wearing deodorant.  That’s not to say that I showered that day, but hey, you have to take what you can get.

Stay tuned for next week as I have a big announcement coming.  Cheers!

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